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Britain's theater critics have weighed in on what they want, what they really, really want—and it's not a Spice Girls musical.

The heavily hyped stage romp Viva Forever!, based on the pop group's biggest hits, was savaged by reviewers, a day after the musical had its splashy premiere Tuesday in London that reunited members Victoria Beckham, Emma Bunton, Melanie Brown, Melanie Chisholm and Geri Halliwell.

Among the critical zingers?

"This is a fatuous show with nothing fresh to say about popular culture and our fixation with fame," rantedThe Telegraph, while the Daily Mailsniffed that the show was nothing more than "a prize Christmas turkey."

Clearly no "vivas!" for this critical dud.

Spice Girls reunite for Viva Forever! premiere

Here's what else went down:

RIP: Ravi Shankar, Norah Jones' father and the iconic sitar player who influenced the Beatles, dead at 92.

Thirsty? Singer Justin Bieber threw a water bottle at paparazzi while in Miami.

PDA Time: Oh, snap! Take a look at Taylor Swift and Harry Styles kissing!

Awkward Alert: Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchison checked out hot, young guys in their underwear while casting the male lead for Stodden's music video.

TV Land: Get the recap for The Voice.

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