First things first, lets start with how weird it is that There are two Bachelorettes this season.  It felt like the dudes were trying to order Fro-Yo when deciding which girl to vote for..."Yo...I'll take Kaitlyn in a waffle cone...oh no, let me get the Britt with the Sprinkles"

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but of course Chris Harrison was chomping at the bit over the whole thing.  The only words he said more than "The biggest Twist in Bachelorette History" was "Have you seen my new book?"

 

The girls were so tense...obviously...Kaitlyn looked like she was sucking a lemon and was throwing shade at Britt then entire time but wrapping it up in compliments while Britt cried about how beautiful she is.

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The guys this season are straight up nerds and I feel like the franchise is searching for their next Prince Farming...because there were a lot of country guys this season.  Which Britt was feeling when they were all about her...but as soon as one looked at Kaitlyn, she basically lost it.

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Of course the dudes were bizarre.  There was Tony who I am going to call the Spiritual Gangsta.  This freak talks to his plants and gives them a kiss and tells them that he loves them before he leaves home.  He described himself as sensitive...but what he forgot to mention was that he also lives in his Mom's basement and enjoys rubbing ointment on her corns.

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We had Ryan who got so hammered he picked a fight with the other men, grabbed Kaitlyn's Booty cheeks and was kicked out of the house before the first rose ceremony.  The grossest part is he spent a lot of time in the pool...and we all know he was peeing in there.

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Oh and then one dude drew Kaitlyn a picture of him riding a dinosaur while holding a rose.  That is what we call prison art...

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And then we had a stripper.  He went all Magic Mike when he met the girls.  His stripping wasn't the awkard part though...not seeing Britt pull out a roll of $1's was...

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There were of course the dudes that were trying to step right in like they were already dating the girls and playing protector mode...which was just weird.  There was even a dude who rolled up in a car filled with water that he called a carpool...which while I enjoy a good pun...it wasn't working.  Especially when he explained his job is as an amateur sex coach.  What does that even mean?!?  I mean, other than him wearing a trench coat outside of na-na stores?!?

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We also need to talk about how there are three dudes there from Nashville...THREE!  Where the heck is the Memphis representation.  One named Chris got a good showing because he showed up in a cupcake car and said since he is a dentist he never advises sugar...but that this time he will.  And then he flashed his pearly whites.

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We had a lot of fake careers again and drinks that were drunk and of couse Chris Harrison left us on the edge of our seats and we have to watch tonight to see who is chosen as the Bachelorette...but spoiler alert...it is Kaitlyn.  So be prepared for a lot of pretty crying from Britt, not because she was looking for real love but because her 15 minutes of fame just ended.

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